Create Meaningful Bonds with Your Grandchildren Across the Miles
Baby Boomers have jumped into the grandparent role in the same way that they engaged in other phases of their lives - with enthusiasm and active commitment. They have redefined what it means to be grandparents. But how can you form and maintain a connection with your young grandchildren when they live thousands of miles away and you see them only sporadically?
Allan talked about his six-year old grandson, Jake, and the joy he felt whenever they spoke on the phone. "He called me the other day and said, 'Papa, I just saw the moon! It looked like a smile turned on its side.' I could visualize the big smile on his face and that brought an even bigger one to mine. When Jake was just three and we were visiting him, I had shown him the full moon early one winter night. I had explained to him that, even though we lived very far away, we saw the same moon in our home that he saw in his. We decided that the moon would be 'our friend,' and ever since then we have shared this special connection."
If you are living far from your grandchildren, you too can bond in a profound way. Use the same sense of creativity that you have mastered in other areas of your life to build a relationship that grows through the years.
Here are 5 original tips from other grandparents - see what worked for them and let your imagination run free as you decide what works for you.
1. Susan had enjoyed music all her life and had a soft, gentle voice. When her first grandchild was born, she picked a simple song and sung it sweetly to her whenever they were together. When they were apart, she sang it over the phone. Soon her little granddaughter began to recognize it as Nana's song. The song became a way for both of them to keep each other close through the distance.
2. Carol loved books. She had worked in a bookstore and was familiar with all of the children's classics. When her grandson was born, she picked one of her favorites and began to read it to him whenever she visited. She held him close and repeated the passages in her lilting voice. This special cuddle time became one of the most rewarding parts of her visits. Every year, on her grandson's birthday, she gave him another classic children's book with her inscription telling him why she had especially chosen it for him. Books grew to represent a deep bond between them.
3. Making movies had been Alex's hobby ever since he was a teenager. He had taken pictures of his own children over the years but never really compiled them in any meaningful way. It was different when his twin grandsons were born. For their first birthday, he edited a video of the highlights of their growth that year, complete with music and clever titles. Each year, he presented the boys with an edited version of their activities for the year. As they grew, they looked forward to getting their new videos and loved to watch them over an over again. Alex took great pleasure in making the videos, as he could watch his raw footage many times in order to pick the best shots and put them together. Creating the birthday videos was a win-win for both Alex and his grandsons.
4. A chemist by trade, Mort knew how materials combined to produce new substances. He was intrigued by the way foods did the same thing, and he was an innovative cook. As soon as his young granddaughter was able to hold a spoon, he helped her put the fruit into her cereal. When she was old enough, he began to cook with her whenever he came to visit. He taught her to measure the ingredients when they made chocolate chip cookies and to mix the batter when they made blueberry muffins. The kitchen became their special playground and they had the added bonus of eating their tasty handiwork. As she grew, their creations became more complex and they both looked forward to sharing new recipes as they cooked together on his visits.
5. Some boomers developed innovative means of connecting with their grandchildren, using talents they didn't even know they had. On a lark, Sara wrote a poem for her grandson on his first birthday. It reviewed the things she had done with him - watching his first smiles, seeing him sit up and eat in his high chair, having him crawl to her, holding his hand as he learned to walk. She found that she enjoyed the writing as it gave her an opportunity, during the process, to savor her pleasant memories. She began to write poems regularly, combining them on the page with pictures she had taken of them together. Her grandson looked forward to each new grandma poem and loved re-reading the old ones every time she came for a visit. His parents read the poems to him when Sara was back in her own home, keeping their attachment strong. The legacy that you pass on to your grandchildren will be much more than money or possessions. It will be the priceless gift of yourself. Let them know who you are. You will enjoy the precious time you spend together and they will cherish the relationship with you for a lifetime. (c) 2007, Her Mentor Center
About the Author
Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. are founders of http://www.HerMentorCenter.com, a website for midlife women and http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a Blog for the Sandwich Generation. They are authors of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomers and family relationships. They offer free newsletter Stepping Stones.
Don't Babies Make The World Go Around?
What is it about babies that makes us want to touch a woman's pregnant belly? What makes us want to nibble babies' toes? Babies are human magnets. Their innocence and vulnerability draw us to them. Of course, when they aren't ours, we feel innocent when they scream and we don't feel vulnerable when they need a diaper change. All babies are beautiful. Some are just more beautiful than others. That's genetics. Teaching the child to be beautiful on the inside - that's work. Raising a child is hard work. Many women worry about their lack of experience for what seems like an overwhelming responsibility, but they shouldn't worry. If a wife has taken care of her husband when he's been sick, she has experience taking care of a baby.
My first child was the first grandchild on my husband's side of the family. For two and a half years he was a prince. Then came our second child. Because I'd read books about sibling rivalry and had listened to other mothers tell war stories about it, I worried. When I brought our new son home, I casually put him on the living room carpet instead of laying him in a manger. My older son took one look at his little brother, asked if that was all he did and then asked his grandmother to take him to the park. There wouldn't be second children if Mother Nature didn't erase some of the delivery memories, but no matter how many children a mother has, the last will always be her baby - even when that baby has babies. A mother won't outgrow motherhood until Peter Pan grows up. Then there are the grandparents. They lovingly hold their grandchildren, looking for family resemblances, for inherited traits. Secretly, however, they're hoping this child gives their child as much trouble as their child gave them. All too soon the baby is a toddler, then an adolescent, then a teenager. When you look at your teenagers, it's hard to believe you'd been eager for them to talk - not talk back. You'd looked forward to their taking their first step - not walking into the garage to get into their car. You were excited about their first day of school - not paying for college. In time children turn their parents into babies. All too soon we're the ones crying - at their baptisms, at their graduations and at their weddings.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
Why Personalized Baby Gifts?
For the mom-to be, being the guest of honor at a baby shower can be loads of fun. For one thing, it will save the new mom a lot of shopping. But shopping for gifts for a baby shower can be very difficult for the guest. You want your gift to be something special, something that the new mom will remember, for a long time, that you gave it. To accomplish that, take a look at personalized baby gifts to make your gift special. And be prepared, when you attend a baby shower, not only with your special gift but also to have lots of fun.
Games are often played at baby showers and you might even find yourself heading home with a gift of your own. For instance, how well do you know your nursery rhymes? Do you (or did you) read them to your own children or grandchildren? Then you will probably do well in the nursery rhyme game. Depending upon which version of the game is played at the baby shower, guests will either have to guess the name of a nursery rhyme or remember how it finishes. How are your spatial skills? Think you can just look at the new mom and guess how big she is around? You might find cut up pieces of string or ribbon at the party. Only one of them will perfectly fit around the mother to be. Can you pick the right one? And how long ago were you feeding baby food to toddlers?
If pretty recently, then you will probably do well at the ‘guess the baby food' contest. Labels are removed from baby food jars and the jars are only identified with a number. Each guest then gets a sample from each jar and has to guess what it is. Pureed spinach anyone? And be sure to get your memory in good shape before attending the baby shower. One very popular game has an assortment of baby items put into a box and each guest has just a few seconds to look in the box. Then, everyone writes down what they remember was in the box. What was there? Bib? Diaper? Bottle? Whomever gets the most right wins. So head over to the baby shower, have a great time but don't forget to look first for personalized baby gifts so you have your own special gift to give to the new mom.
About the Author
Author Kim Green has children as well as nieces and nephews and has experienced not only receiving personalized baby gifts but buying them as well.
Protect Your Child From Mr. Germ
Meet Mr. Germ - a crafty invader targeting everyone from infants to adults. His goal is to make us sick! The cold and flu season is his favorite time of the year, and everyone is a target. Once he finds a 'victim', he can spread his germs from one person to another in a fairly rapid chain reaction. First, let's dispense with the notion that cold or wet weather will make you sick. It won't. But germs will. Knowledge is a powerful tool against the germ menace and knowing the definition of a germ is a good place to start. There are four major types of germs: bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa.
For people in most countries including the U.S., our main concern is bacteria and viruses. Bacteria cause infections such as sore throats, ear infections, pneumonia and even cavities. Viruses are the germs that cause chickenpox, measles, flu, and other diseases. They can live for a while on things like doorknobs, a computer mouse or any other surface. Bottom line - germs are found everywhere in all kinds of places. For adults, particularly those with infants, toddlers or children in school, wellness begins with common sense. Since most germs spread through the air from sneezing, coughing or even just breathing, it's important to cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze and your mouth when coughing. If you use a tissue, be sure to dispose of it immediately and wash your hands.
Of course, germs also spread through sweat, saliva and blood. Just a simple handshake followed by touching your nose can cause germs to spread. Since Mr. Germ's worst fear is soap and water, washing your hands often can help to keep Mr. Germ on the run. Have you ever stopped to think about the number of germs that are transmitted by shopping carts? How many hands - both adult and children - have grabbed the handle of the cart you select? If you have an infant or toddler in the seat, think of the germs that could be transmitted by another child's drooling or even something as gross as a leaky diaper! Many stores now provide antiseptic wipes by the entrance so you can disinfect the handle and seat. Use them! As the saying goes "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." But is this enough for a child who hasn't built an immune system that's sufficient to fight off the many viruses that run rampant these days?
There is something else you can do to foil Mr. Germ. A great creation, known as a shopping cart cover, was designed by a grandmother to help protect her grandchildren from illness. The cover typically does extra duty as a diaper bag and purse, plus a toy and bottle holder. It quickly and easily rolls up to the size of a small duffle-type bag. You can hold your child with one hand, unroll the cart cover with the other, and be ready to in about 30 seconds. Best of all, they're colorful and attractive so your child goes shopping in style. The design of the cover protects not only anything in reach of busy hands but bare legs as well. No part of your child will come in contact with an area touched by another child.
One other area of concern is restaurant highchairs. How many times have you found the tray to be sticky or otherwise unclean and the seat contains food from the previous user. This makes Mr. Germ very happy. You can foil his plan because the same cover used for the shopping cart doubles as a highchair cover. There are also covers made specifically for high chairs that typically come with placemats for the tray. The best way to protect your family from germs is to steer clear of the things that can spread them and cause that inevitable chain reaction. The first step is to use common sense to protect against Mr. Germ. Then, focus on any products that can prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses. If just one of these suggestions works and saves a trip to the doctor, you're ahead of the game.
About the Author
Janet Winter is a web designer, owner of three e-commerce sites, and writer on many topics including dogs, babies, wild birds, the Internet and travel.
Her e-commerce sites are: WelcomeBabyGifts.com, APamperedDog.com and WildBirdGoodies.com
